I hate being misunderstood so badly. And now I feel ignored, and despised by them.

I did make a mistake but it seems like no one really cares to forgive me for it. I can't do anything about that.

I do not like to feel cheated, used, lied to.

I detest being alone. No one to talk to, no one to rely on, no one to have around for me. A day or two ago it probably would've bothered you how hurt I am right now, but now it doesn't matter anymore. Wow that really hurts even more.

I loathe the fact that both my best friends have abandoned me. One's sick and has inadvertently left all the work of choreographing to me (I don't blame her but it sucks) The other's so busy and has so many things going onnn (I don't blame her either because she hasn't seen her friends in ages) But still ultimately it really sucks.

I do not like feeling so crushed and tired and sad and hurt and like empty.

It's just a total accumulation of things.

Like how suddenly every one's gone.

Idk who else; but they're all just gone.

Jeremy is not worth talking to.

And the fact that the people who are supposed to care, don't/can't/aren't- really makes me wanna cry.

I'm so messed up.

It's the end of the year.

God snap your fingers and make a miracle.

Send me someone who'll turn my life back around.

So that maybe I can slowly build it back with his/her help.

And also in a way that'll bring me back to where you and I were before.

I need it.

Badly.