Anyway so here's my wellthoughtemolikehellpost;

You left more than a year ago as of now, and I guess you could say the 'withdrawal' symptoms have ceased. (I sound like a clingy, obsessed little child which I am not- ohfuq) Oh well anyway, I still do have the occasional times where I go- shit I wish you were here, I wish you still loved me, I wish you missed me.

I have it all on myself for your leaving. As much as I'd do anything for you to come back to me, I know it'll probably end badly. You have some chain effect on me. One small thing and I can easily .. for lack of a better word, want you all over again.

But the thing is, I don't. I really don't. You're not something I want in my life. Far from it, I'd run. It's always the things that are so wanted that are also equally easily repulsive.

Part of me wants you, part of me hates you. No one'll get it.

I have no idea why I'm blogging about this but yeah.

You screwed me over once, and that's not ever gonna happen again.

I do love you.

I do miss you.

I do kinda want you.

But I'm officially far from needing you.

I'm better off without you. No doubt.